Whilst ‘make up sex’ can be exciting, exhilarating, passionate and QUICK, it’s hardly going to be the glue that keeps her by your side or keep you two together. Hard, fast, thrusting is good, but not feasible in the long-term for obvious reasons! This is where Tantric sex comes in. In Tantric sex there is no goal of getting anywhere, of striving for the big “0”. Your approach with your partner is all about awareness and feeling, experiencing the “now”, with your ego dissolving and your heart opening. It’s a form of meditation that lets history dissolve, resentment fade away and anger turn into joy. It’s just what you need to get her back!
However, Tantric takes practice and it takes 2! So you have to convince her to take this journey with you and once you have both gone down this path, there will be no turning back. It’s not some huge mystery as most people seem to think and neither do you have to wait until you know it all. Every little step you take in this direction brings its own rewards and on this journey, you get to know yourself intimately first and then that of your partner, by exploring first the physical, the emotional and finally the spiritual.
If you explain this procedure to your ex, she is going to be spell bound and most definitely curious. Inviting you ex to your home to try out Tantra, requires her trust in you so don’t blow it! The first thing you need to do is design an “intimacy space”. Start off slow with a light intimate dinner and then proceed to this “space” which should be comfortable, relaxed and clear of clutter. It needs to be decorated with flowers, candles and cozy fabrics and the additional ambience created by the scent should be of natural oils like jasmine, ylang-ylang, or rose. Choose a soundtrack of music that you both like to be played as soft background music.
The next step is intimate and involves breathing each other’s breath. Harmonizing your breath is one of the easiest ways to sync with your partner. Straddle your partner’s lap (called the yab-yom position) and inhale while they exhale and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you’ll find yourself taking their breath into and down through your entire body. As you exhale, consciously attempt to energize the breath. In this way, you’re sharing all of yourself with your partner. Whatever you do, do not lose control – this is critical!
Take it Slow!!! Foreplay is essential in Tantra. A slow build will not only help you maintain your erection but it will intensify her arousal. The longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer your session will last and the more energy you will build. Use this time to fully focus on each other. As in meditation, when your thoughts wander, gently guide your attention back to your partner and the magic of the moment at hand.
Whilst all this erotic foreplay is building, maintaining eye contact is essential. You are going to make love with your eyes open as the ultimate display of your deep connection with your ex and the level of your intimacy. It will be a challenge particularly as the sensations of pleasure heighten. When the two of you finally make love, you’ll find the love making profoundly transformative and move each other in ways you could never imagine. You will have no need to worry as to whether she would accept your second invitation to “dinner”.
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of “Getting Her Back… for Good” and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back.