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Reinvent Yourself

You’ve broken up with your ex and are either single or with someone new but you know you jumped back into the dating pool too soon. You realize this was a rebound knee-jerk reaction and what’s worse, you can’t get your ex out of your mind. You want her back and you want her back for good! Stick around because not only will I tell you how you can get her back, but how you can improve on your own life and self-image at the same time.

We all know men and women are wired differently – “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus right?”. But what if you could rewire yourself, both physically as well as emotionally! You can and whilst you may not wake up tomorrow a totally new person both physically and emotionally (believe me it doesn’t even happen overnight on those reality television shows), the first step in reinventing yourself to win her back is to START living the life you want to live and being the person you and SHE want you to be.

It can’t be that difficult or too far a reach or disconnect or else she wouldn’t have dated you in the first place right? We are all primed from early childhood, allocated labels, “athletic”, “academic”, “artistic” etc but often these labels are self-fulfilling prophecies that create our identity as opposed to shaping our identity.

Despite the fact that your breakup with your ex might have been the catalyst for your desire to change, self-actualization, or becoming who you need to be is part of life’s evolution. With evolution, your needs change, you acquire wisdom and experience and now you have reached a stage where you need to try something different. You may want to explore a new career, move to a different location, explore other activities and behaviors. In fact, this could also be the reason your relationship with your ex back-fired. Neither of you were getting what you needed. Perhaps she felt unappreciated or bored, and perhaps you found excuses to be away from home. However, the breakup between the two of you is treating the symptom, not the cause.

Take the next couple of days to make a list of all the positive and negative factors in your relationship but at the same time, look after yourself by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep. This time apart allows you to reassess your life, and your possible life together with your ex, objectively. By the time you meet up with your ex she will already begin to see the ‘new emerging you’; and might possibly be inspired to join you. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that you’re not stuck with who you were in the past. We often feel like who or what we aspire to be has to “make sense.” But we’re always growing, and taking a leap into a new life is exciting and even better with your ex by your side. It starts off as small steps and it was Confucius who said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step,” and so to reinvent yourself and your relationship, it’s often the little things that are the first step.

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of “Getting Her Back… for Good” and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back.

Yummy Yoga for Two

So you want to “reunite” with your ex do you? Well why not try something different with your ex. If you can persuade her to attend a yoga class with you, or better yet, hire a yoga DVD, shoot out and purchase 2 Yoga mats and send her an invitation directing time, place and attire, it is bound to pique her curiosity.

You could start off by telling her what Yoga means, which is that the word Yoga is derived from the Sanskrit word “Yuj” meaning to yoke, join or unite. This implies joining or integrating all aspects of the individual – body with mind and mind with soul – to achieve a happy, balanced and useful life, and spiritually, uniting the individual with the supreme. You do want to “reunite” with her but you need to seek some balance first. What better way that to use Yoga to achieve both these objectives?

Not only will Yoga help you relax while toning and strengthening your muscles, but done in the privacy of your home, you can start off slowly by following three simple exercises that are user-friendly, fun and good for you. Obviously the ambience is important so lighting some scented candles, dimming the lights, or burning some subtle incense can certainly add to the “mood” you are trying to create.

The idea is to do these exercises together at first, helping each other out. In other words, you stand either next to, in front of or alongside one another. This is what I mean by creating a sense of unity or “reuniting”. Not only will be she be reassured that you are there to help her if she falls but as you are both novices in the art of Yoga, doing these simple exercises together should create a sense of fun, excitement and make her realize you are prepared to try something new and possibly totally foreign to you. The three simple, easy to follow exercises are:

The Downward facing dog

Place your hands and your knees on the floor, your palms should be flat with your fingers extended forward and should be ever so slightly forward of the line of your shoulders. Inhale deeply, filling your lungs with air. As you exhale lift your knees off the ground so that you are standing on your hands and toes. Inhale deeply once more and as you exhale try to touch the floor with your heels. Don’t force this, just stretch as far as is comfortable. While in this position concentrate on breathing deeply and remain there for fifteen seconds.

The Inner thigh stretch

Sit on your yoga mat and spread you legs as wide as they will comfortably stretch, forming a V shape, with your hands on the floor in front of you. Make sure that you are sitting up straight as you inhale deeply. As you exhale move your hands forward as if walking and start to lean forward, your chest moving toward the floor as far as is comfortable. From this position take three deep breaths before slowly uncurling to your upright sitting position. Repeat this exercise three times for the best effect.

The Butterfly pose

Sit up straight on your yoga mat and bring your feet together in front of you so that the soles are touching. Inhale deeply and as you exhale place your hands on your toes and very gently pull your heels closer toward you. Inhale once more and as you exhale lean forward while keeping your back straight as long as you are comfortable. Concentrate on deep inhalation and exhalation while you hold this pose for one minute before slowly returning to an upright seated position.

If the exercises not only work in relaxing both of you, then it could be a fun couple thing to do in attending further yoga classes. These 3 simple moves can be done in a pair as well as individually and you’d be surprised at how relaxed, content and good you both will feel once you have attempted them a few times. These yoga moves are a perfect excuse to make “amends” and “reunite” with your loved one.

Time for Tantra

Whilst ‘make up sex’ can be exciting, exhilarating, passionate and QUICK, it’s hardly going to be the glue that keeps her by your side or keep you two together. Hard, fast, thrusting is good, but not feasible in the long-term for obvious reasons! This is where Tantric sex comes in. In Tantric sex there is no goal of getting anywhere, of striving for the big “0”. Your approach with your partner is all about awareness and feeling, experiencing the “now”, with your ego dissolving and your heart opening. It’s a form of meditation that lets history dissolve, resentment fade away and anger turn into joy. It’s just what you need to get her back!

However, Tantric takes practice and it takes 2! So you have to convince her to take this journey with you and once you have both gone down this path, there will be no turning back. It’s not some huge mystery as most people seem to think and neither do you have to wait until you know it all. Every little step you take in this direction brings its own rewards and on this journey, you get to know yourself intimately first and then that of your partner, by exploring first the physical, the emotional and finally the spiritual.

If you explain this procedure to your ex, she is going to be spell bound and most definitely curious. Inviting you ex to your home to try out Tantra, requires her trust in you so don’t blow it! The first thing you need to do is design an “intimacy space”. Start off slow with a light intimate dinner and then proceed to this “space” which should be comfortable, relaxed and clear of clutter. It needs to be decorated with flowers, candles and cozy fabrics and the additional ambience created by the scent should be of natural oils like jasmine, ylang-ylang, or rose. Choose a soundtrack of music that you both like to be played as soft background music.

The next step is intimate and involves breathing each other’s breath. Harmonizing your breath is one of the easiest ways to sync with your partner. Straddle your partner’s lap (called the yab-yom position) and inhale while they exhale and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you’ll find yourself taking their breath into and down through your entire body. As you exhale, consciously attempt to energize the breath. In this way, you’re sharing all of yourself with your partner. Whatever you do, do not lose control – this is critical!
Take it Slow!!! Foreplay is essential in Tantra. A slow build will not only help you maintain your erection but it will intensify her arousal. The longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer your session will last and the more energy you will build. Use this time to fully focus on each other. As in meditation, when your thoughts wander, gently guide your attention back to your partner and the magic of the moment at hand.

Whilst all this erotic foreplay is building, maintaining eye contact is essential. You are going to make love with your eyes open as the ultimate display of your deep connection with your ex and the level of your intimacy. It will be a challenge particularly as the sensations of pleasure heighten. When the two of you finally make love, you’ll find the love making profoundly transformative and move each other in ways you could never imagine. You will have no need to worry as to whether she would accept your second invitation to “dinner”.
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of “Getting Her Back… for Good” and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Invite her on a journey to rediscover her inner child. Make plans for an upcoming Saturday or make sure you have booked a day off work for her with her boss as guaranteed this will be her first line of defense in turning you down. Remind her of those carefree days of running around in the park with her friends, swinging on swing sets, making snow cones and catching fireflies at dusk? Remind her of the time when her biggest worry was which flavor of ice cream to choose? Whilst it might seem immature, just work with me. Call her up and invite her on a “play date”. If she starts to question you, you can offer a slight hint but the intention is create an air of mystery and fun. Then you need to start working on the type of activities you will take part in. You could consider some of the following activities:

Watch a kiddies movie, (lighthearted, animation, fantasy land)
Draw pictures and create Collages – create your own visionary boards for romance and this can give you clues as to what she needs from you.
Write stories and then finish each other’s stories… Once upon a time… and you’d be surprised at what comes out plus it can give you a clue as to her state of mind.
Make up a game or participate in your favorite game from childhood
Go to the park, go camping, visit the zoo, hang out with your own, hers, your siblings, friends, kids. Offer to baby sit the kids for a day because often just being around kids can make finding your own inner child a lot easier. Children have a fresh look on things, and sometimes when we get in bad moods it is because we are so jaded with the world around us. Experiencing life through the eyes of a child can really do wonders for naturally rediscovering a good mood.
If possible, take a trip to Disneyland or some theme park.
Blindfold one another, spin one another around and then see how you fall and feel all dizzy. Try feeding each other blindfolded. This can soon lead to something more romantic and intimate.
Buy some play dough and make shapes.
Play 20 questions, pull out some old board games, Scrabble, Monopoly, an old deck of cards.
Build a tent in the living room out of sheets, pillows and whatever else you can lay your hands on.
Ride your bikes, or borrow some other kids bikes and if this is too immature for you, go for more mature bikes and hire a Harley Davidson for an hour or two (assuming you have your license and all protective gear) and go riding off in the sunset with the wind in your hair.

The intention with a “play date” with your ex is to just let all the angst go and live and let live. Enjoy the moment and your youth, no matter what age you are. I know of couples who still dine out on the ‘mischievous practical jokes’ they got up to when they experienced with the “play date” idea. After all, what have you got to lose? Your dignity? Since when do children worry about dignity?

Your Manner of Approach

If you’re interested in learning how to win HER back, here’s a bit of information that might help. It may not be easy and it might not even work but if you don’t at least try, you will never know. You also need to understand that some relationships are just not meant to work and if that is the case with yours, then don’t even waste your time and effort. Rather look else where for comfort and a new beginning. However, the main objective here is to “win her back” and so this is how we do it.

Firstly, you need to be in control of your emotions. This is not an easy task at present, emotions are running high for both of you, ranging from anger to grief and shock so it is difficult to try and focus. It requires both conscious effort and control and you need to keep your “eye on the ball” as it could be tough, time consuming and sometimes, demoralizing. But if you stay focused, then you have the opportunity to prove to yourself and everybody around you, especially your ex that you’re capable to deal with difficult situations.

When staying in control, you have to keep a mind to not retaliate. Most guys retaliate after a breakup and this definitely will make things worse than they already are. “Getting her back” or “making her want you more by making out with her friend” will NOT work. It will only validate her mistrust of you and push her away even further. You need to give your ex time along, avoid contacting her, especially immediately after the break up. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do, but it is necessary and it also gives her a chance to miss you.

The last thing you need to do is “hibernate” as it is often tempting to stay at home along following a rough breakup and but this is the worse thing you could do. Not only will you be seen as weak, but it will exacerbate your situation even further driving home your sense of loneliness. It is important that you stay in touch with your friends and continue to enjoy life. You need to keep yourself busy.

If you want to know how to approach your ex, talk to her friends (if they agree to talk to you), if not, be persistent and let them see you are genuinely regretful. The more information you can gather on your ex’s state of mind and her feelings towards you, the better. Research, organization and preparation hand in hand together with a romantic ambience, environment, intention or occasion should work hands down any time. Once you have an idea of where her mind is at, you can plan your approach accordingly and design a “come back” strategy that will not only impress her, but “blow her socks off”.

The Right Questions

Ask yourself the right questions to understand your ex and yourself, for that matter

When your ex breaks up with you, one of the first, and natural things you do, is to start pitying yourself. It’s difficult not to because emotions are flying high and you are thinking with your heart, not your head. You should also remember that if you are feeling like this, you can rest assured she will be feeling the same multiplied by 100. Come on, not only are women hormonal but they have a range of emotions that extends past the milky-way. We all know that, advertisers capitalize on it and men have used this as an excuse since time began.

It is important that you stop feeling sorry for yourself and understand that you life hasn’t come to a standstill. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help and furthermore, if you are depressed, how are you going to win your ex back? A confident, positive state of mind is far more enticing and inviting that a dour, depressed individual. Many guys lose hope and quit if their exes initiate the break up but if you are serious about getting her back, you must not lose hope and quit. You need to be able to do what it takes and if you cannot stay the course, then it is quite safe to say you are not going to win her back.

Make a list of all the things you used to do that took her for granted. Many guys expect their girlfriends to do things for them that they can easily do themselves. Women often resent being in the role of a maid, secretary, or mother, and it becomes more of a challenge for them to then step into the role of lover and being seen as a lover both by themselves and by you.

Have you ever thought of thank your ex after lovemaking – right then and there as the two of you are lying spent? Sounds crazy I know but it works. She has just given herself to you and the least you could do is show her some appreciation.

When you were dating, were you tactile? Did you touch her in a number of different ways, at different times and in different locations, like your hand on the small of her back as you were walking, a very light tickle on the palm of her hand during a dinner date, did you softly outline her lips with your fingers, give gentle hair tugs, place a warm hand on the back of her neck, slowly arouse her by touching through her clothes, gently nibble her lips, and her ears? Did you do all of this and more?

When your ex was full of self-doubt did you respond with sensitivity and support? If she was self-critical about her weight, instead of agreeing with her or dismissing what she said, did you say, “I can see that you’re upset about the weight you’ve gained but you need to know that you always turn me on and I love touching you.”

Were you in tune to her moods? Her needs? If she’d had a horrible day or if you have been short with each other all day, did you recognize her state of mind and rather than criticize her, did you offer to help her satisfy her needs, or alleviate her stress. Did you cherish her?

Consideration of all these aspects is important in understanding what it will take to win your ex back and keep her. You should always listen to what she says, both verbally and non-verbally as those cues are the most indicative as to what it is she wants from you.

Making Out After “Break-Up Make Up”

Most couples have a heated argument now and again and while you might sulk and or cry about it in the beginning, you have to admit there’s nothing better than makeup sex. The best way to let out your frustration about what they have done is to rip their clothes off and have a rough night of passion. It’s the best way to release all that anger.

It’s usually the person who starts the argument that initiates the makeup sex but it isn’t always easy getting in the good books. They won’t be able to resist your charms for long though and when they give in, get ready for fireworks

It’s important to her how sorry you are for your part in the argument. The last thing you want to do is get her angry again by insisting she was in the wrong. Hug and kiss her gently, all the while telling her why you don’t deserve her. Don’t let her anger deter you and although she might push you away at first don’t give up as your persistence will pay off. Once they start to give in it’s time to take them to the bedroom. This is the success factor to winning her back!

Making up sex is great as you get to let the animal inside of you out. You can be wild and ensure she feels your beast within. For her, your groveling is sexy. She might not admit it but watching you grovel is a major turn on for her. It shows that you care in some weird way.

She thinks she is in control and you continue letting her think that succumbing to her every need because you are trying so hard to please her. But there is a reward for you as this is also the perfect time to try new things. The sex will be so great she will be left asking herself what the two of you were fighting about.

Making Out After “Break-Up Make Up”

It Take Two to Tango

Sign up for “Sensuous Samba or Tantalizing Tango”

Do you want to whirl her back into your life? If this is the case, then what better way than to sign up for ballroom dancing lessons but to specifically concentrate on three of the most erotic, sexy and romantic dances, namely the Tango, Samba and the Rumba. If this is moving too fast given your transgression that made you split in the first place, you can also choose to participate in the more innocuous generic ballroom type dancing lessons. Most importantly though, the success factor here is to organize private classes so that it is just the two of you together and not only will this be an emotional journey in through which the two of you will re-bond but it will be filled with fun, romance, eroticism, and furthermore, give both of you an “edge” in confidence.

“It takes 2 to Tango!” If you start out with the Tango (originating in Buenos Aires), which incorporates both the elements of an emotional and dramatic dance that allows for great expression and drama and can be extremely cathartic especially if she is still angry with you. It allows for a lot of improvisation so of course, the two of you could have immense fun as you learn the steps. If nothing else, you can entice her back into your life with your humor, your willingness to look and act like a fool and the fact that you both will have a lot of laughs.

Now with the Samba, there is an ambience of playfulness, reminiscent of the Rio Carnival and so the two of you will have a fantastic time learning this dance together. Not only that but if you get the rhythm of your hips right, there is no way she is going to be able to resist you. The intensity of contact, your closeness and perspiration are all part of an enormous aphrodisiac for her. By the time you two have finished learning this dance routine, she should be eating out of your hands. But wait, the best is yet to come!

Saving the best for last, the Rumba is a poetic story of love and eroticism between two lovers and is said to be a “vertical expression of a horizontal wish”. This dance is “hot property” and the climax to all. Once you two have finished twirling around the studio dance floor, not only will all the anger and stress be history, but the two of you will be racing home to tear each other’s clothes off. This is a true winner!

The best part of all of this is that if the two of you enjoy taking these private lessons then consider taking more dance lessons. The beauty is that ballroom dancing, (in fact any dancing) comes with a whole host of benefits, from improving your self-confidence, increasing your social skills, posture and grace, never mind the obvious health benefits. It allows you be close to her and is exciting and exhilarating. You can set the pace by dancing slow, fast, close, cheek-to-cheek but however you do it, remember dancing is fun, fun, fun and you get to stay fit and keep in shape too! What a bonus!

Take a Sensual Cooking Class for Two

There is no doubt that food is seduction and that all luscious sexual inferences and allusions litter the bed-sheets of gastronomy. Yes we all know that it’s purportedly via the stomach that we aim for his or her heart – and as we are winning her back, the more delectable region of her anatomy.

So we are talking provocative cuisine – or even better yet, cooking classes just for two. In case you hadn’t heard, cookbooks have become the new erotica. We all know sex sells, but combining sex and food. Ooh la la! This is where you come in.

You extend an invitation to your kitchen goddess keeping in mind the image of her naked, wearing an apron only, licking that spoon. The fact that the spoon is Freudian metaphor is just the tip of the iceberg, or should I say, the “icing on the cake”.

A little imagination, a trip to the costume hire store or even the store that sells aprons and chef hats, a downloaded menu that is simple, seductive and easy to follow, a well orchestrated trip to the grocer to ensure you have all the ingredients, the accompanying wine, a pre-laid table, seductive music and soft lighting and you are ready.

Upon her arrival at the door, you hand her the apron and chef’s hat and you ensure that the entire “gastronomic” experience is a subtle blend of seductive fun. Flirt with her the entire time, maintain eye contact, drop subtle innuendos particularly if using phallic type foods such as carrots, cucumbers, sausages, bananas…etc. A few “French” names, for example “poisson en croute avec” thrown in for effect can be far more seductive than the English equivalent of “stodgy fish pie” or ”mash and peas” for that matter. If her fingers are dribbled in batter, sauce or anything edible, take her fingers and lovingly lick them, sucking gently whilst gazing into her eyes. She should feel the effect of this from head to toe.

When passing her, stretching for utensils, putting aside the dirty dishes, make sure you are constantly in contact with her body, occasionally kiss her ear, her neck, nibble her ear lobe, gently caress her buttocks, so that you entire physical being is seducing her whilst the two of you are standing apart. If you persist with this lavish attention, you’ll find her inner oven ready for baking long before the starters have been served and she is more than willing to nibble on your “banana surprise”.